Growth in numbers and in spirituality is what I always asked God for my
choir and its members. I hate to say this but for months we have been
stagnant: only a few (and I mean few) songs have been taught to us,
motivation for members to show up is a little bit mundane even if I was
giving grave threats of all sorts, and no parishioner has ever
contacted us for interest in becoming a music minister.
I do not
believe I have done my part that well. I know we gave out mini-fliers
that I printed, posted primers and membership forms that I also
printed, and behaved and served well for people to be impressed and
eventually be enticed to join the group. But never did I muster the
strength to make an announcement during the interlude between the
communion and the recessional parts of the liturgical celebration
because of pride. Damn pride. Or was it the fear of affirming to myself
that we are not growing. I know that we do a great job with our mass
services but there is this need in me for the group to grow in numbers.
I know spirituality will come, though at a later time, but I do believe
that they'll slowly see the path that Jesus walked.
My worries
were due to the things that transpired during the conversation we had
with our newly installed parish priest. While practicing for our
evening mass service that Sunday afternoon, he walked in and commended
us that we do know our craft very well. Knowing that he himself is a
former choir member, it felt like he was really impressed but I really
saw something bad coming our way. Call it pessimistic outlook or years
of training of knowing how people will actually soften the blow.
I know very well that he will just sandwich a nasty violent reaction
with first, comforting (not to mention flattering) words, and secondly,
a recommendation. Boy did he ever made the first move! Suddenly, his
tone changed and said that our "voicing" can't be heard over the audio
system. He immediately ruled in the ultimate reason which is due to the
acoustics of the parish so he encouraged us to really go near the
microphones whens singing. Good thing the halitosis issue of a former
member has been taken care of or I couldn't possibly stand singing the
entrance hymn without vomiting the second we are in the first five
notes of the song.
Moving on, he also scanned the room and
quickly found out that there were only five of us present at that
moment: my choirmaster, my two sopranos, my accompanist, and me. I told
myself that we were doomed. He commented in our lack of number which my
choirmaster clarified that others were just late for the practice. The
priest brushed the excuse aside and told us that we should consider
recruiting new members. And then he told us an unimaginable thing:
merging with another choir. He particularly told us a specific choir
who we can do the merger with.
Weeks passed and I forgot all about the blow.
That does not sound right, eh? Well, Rich, our accompanist, told me
that a merger was proposed unto us by the specific choir mentioned by our parish priest during the conversation.
I said that I'll think about it but in a positive way. Our problem of
getting members will be finally resolved although mergers are not my
thing. I have this sorta bad experience during college about mergers.
Let's say that it didn't go well for me and I ended up crying because I
was hurt. A lot.
See, merging two groups are tricky: it will be
a merger not only of systems, people, but of passion. Wait, that's a
copy for a commercial regarding bank merging. Point taken from the
thought actually but what is bothering me is my view of merger as a
clash of cultures. Both groups all have established identities already
and a shared experience or worldview about service in the church. I
just cannot disregard those years we spent together as a group and the
years they spent together as a group as well. It might be true that
both groups share a passion for what we do best but there's always the but thing that will really bite you hard in the ass.
A
part of me says that I'm just overanalyzing all the things that were
said by my choir members about this merger issue like whose name of the
group are we going to retain, what will be the flow of command, who
will be in command, and the new (or soon-to-be renewed) interpersonal
issues between the members of both groups. I have to have a meeting
with the other group to slightly alleviate my worries or I'll lose my
sanity and my precious sleep. Maybe it'll also be a good thing if we do
the meeting with the parish priest. He shouldn't take this lightly
because I'm not.
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